How do you sum up a person’s life in so small a space? You can’t. So..instead I’ll just tell you about her. The person she is…the person she was.. the person you’ll never know.Sandra K(not KAY…just…K) was born to Randell and Viola Garrett on November 30th some 66 years ago I can’t tell you the EXACT year…because she told my sister and I that she was 29 years old for so many years that I honestly lost track. Until as recently as a couple years ago…that was her answer if you dared to ask her age.
Life in the Garrett household was not easy. Sandy(as she preferred to be called) was the middle child. Her younger sister, Patty Ann was a constant companion and to her older brother, Travis, the two girls were a constant source of irritation. There was no money for luxuries…there was just the necessities and a lot of love, but the Garrett kids learned early on that anything worth having was worth working hard for. And so they did. Randell worked on a commercial crop farm, and as they got older the kids each did their share of farm work, picking cotton, de-silking corn, you name it, they probably did it.
The family moved to Arizona and that’s where Sandy graduated high school. She wasn’t a cheerleader, and never really ran with the popular crowd. She did have a close circle of friends that she associated with and I heard random stories about their adventures. The times they skipped school to go shopping in Phoenix. How they ‘borrowed’ a friend’s brother’s car for the day and were grounded for weeks after. Sandy wasn’t afraid to take a chance, make a mistake, or tell you her thoughts on any subject. In fact, for her to hold her tongue about how she really felt would be a rare occasion indeed.
It was in Arizona that she met Anthony Venezia, they were married in 1962 and had two daughters, Kelli in October of 1964(the oldest and most diplomatic) and Kris in May of 1970(the younger and more opinionated). The family settled in South Roxana, Illinois when Anthony got a job at McDonnell Douglas- a St. Louis aeronautics firm. Sandy worked part time for a local trucking firm for a time and then got a job at KMART in the Jewelry department. She eventually worked her way up to the business office where she remained until she retired. As is often the case in life, things did not go as planned and Anthony and Sandra divorced in 1982. They remain friends to this day.
When Kris graduated from high school, Sandra decided to move back to her roots. She moved to East Prairie, Missouri to be near the rest of the Garrett clan. In 1991 she was diagnosed with Lymphoma. At this same time her father, Randell and her Sister in law, Dorothy were also battling cancers of their own. Sandra worked full time, went to chemotherapy, and tried to help care for them as well. Her strength and will were so superhuman that the reason she was diagnosed with Lymphoma in the first place was that she fainted at work and was forced by her supervisor to go to the emergency room. Her nurse remarked that Sandra was a ‘legend’ on the floor. Sandra asked “why am I such a legend?” and the nurse replied….”usually when people enter the hospital with blood counts as low as yours…they’re already dead… “
While being treated for her cancer, Sandra lost all her hair…and took to wearing a wig or a turban. She earned the nickname, Suburban Turban from Patty Ann. Sandra won that battle with cancer, but her father and Dorothy did not. They died 6 months apart in the winter of 1992.
It was on or about this time that Rusty Jones came into town to visit his old buddy Travis Garrett(Sandy’s older brother…remember) Russ and Sandra had dated way back in the day…prior to Rusty shipping out for the Navy. The two dated and were married a few months later. They decided that life was too short not to do what you REALLY wanted to do, and what they REALLY wanted….was to be together.
During the course of their marriage…they lived in Mississippi and Kentucky…. They traveled all over the west(a dream of Sandy’s)…visiting Idaho, and Montana, and Colorado.It seemed like they always were doing a lot of traveling to East Prairie, though…so they settled there 10 years ago. Russ and Sandra were both retired by this time…and they planned on just enjoying the rest of their lives together.
Here again….as is often the case, life never quite works out as you planned it. Sandy was again diagnosed with Lymphoma in June of 2008. This time it was a more aggressive strain. It resisted treatment and it weakened her horribly. Sandy lost her battle on July 17, 2010.
I just want to say this: My sister and I are so lucky to have been raised by this incredible woman. She and my father taught us that our opinion counted…even if it might be wrong. That to think for ourselves was not only expected, but encouraged. That tolerance of another person’s beliefs was not only the right thing to do…but just plain necessary to get through life, that if we wanted something…we had to work hard for it.
NO SUBJECT was taboo at our dinner table. We talked about the divorce rate, abortion, homosexuality, animal cruelty, nuclear disarmament, religion, dating, sex and what our favorite foods were. Mom was selfish, compassionate, stubborn, intelligent, funny, stubborn, (I know I said it before..but she is..)opinionated, beautiful, and strong.
She loved reading trashy romance novels, she would get cold when the temperature dropped below 75, her favorite snack was banana pepper rings and brick cheese slices, her favorite show of all time was MARY HARTMAN, MARY HARTMAN(the chicken soup drowning episode made mom laugh so loud, it woke me up from a sound sleep when she watched it). Mom, Kris and I watched THE CAROL BURNETT show every Saturday night when I was growing up…her personal favorite episode was the GONE WITH THE WIND parody…she often sewed mine and my sister’s and some of her own clothes. My favorite of her creations were the New Year’s Eve formal dresses she would make. When she became a grandmother for the first time, in 1987, she picked a newborn Caitlin up, looked her straight in the eye and said..." I hate to break it to you, but I'm NOT one of those 'cookie-baking' grandmas..I promise we'll have a good time anyway". In 1993, when Curt was born...she gave him the same speech.
She never thought she was beautiful….but I’ve often been told by friends how beautiful she was. Over the years…she’s taught my sister, myself and her grandchildren,that strength doesn’t necessarily mean muscles, that real courage is sometimes the quiet still voice inside saying…”I will try again tomorrow” and that intelligence doesn’t necessarily mean a college degree. I hope someday to be just like her when I grow up…and I pray every day…that my children think they are HALF as lucky as I feel right now.
I love you forever, I’ll like you for always….forever and ever…my mommy, you’ll be.
