Status Quo- The existing state or condition.
I admit it, I've been a little lazy. I was just going along, feeling all content and happy. Living the dream as it were. I had made some goals for myself, but I had just sort of half-assed it. I didn't fully commit. I did some of the work, part of the time. I didn't do ALL of the work All of the time. This was brought to my attention recently by a conversation with my love.
He was trying to be supportive and was asking me how my 'program' was going since I hadn't mentioned it in awhile. I was a little hormonal at the time(don't judge me!!) therefore, I didn't take the direction the conversation was going very well. I took it to mean that I was not enough as I was...that in order to keep his love I had to become this person that I thought he had in his mind. Remember that last sentence... THAT I THOUGHT HE HAD IN HIS MIND. This was not the case. All I wanted to hear was " No honey... you're beautiful just as you are. If you want to change, do it for you, not for me." Since he wasn't adept at mindreading, he didn't know that's what I needed to hear.
Instead, he told me that he wanted to make sure that I wasn't going to be happy with the status quo. That if I wanted to change, I would take positive steps to make it happen and not just play at it. He wanted the beauty that he saw in my soul to be reflected outward. For ME, not for him.
It's a process. It won't happen overnight. It won't happen in a week. It won't even happen in a month, but It will happen. I'm doing more about it now, I'm not just playing at it, I'm actually DOING SOMETHING every day to make it happen. He doesn't have a person in his mind that he wants me to become. That was all in my brain, not his. Maybe if I wouldn't THINK I knew what someone was thinking and maybe ask them what they're thinking, a lot of misunderstandings and hurt feelings wouldn't happen. There's a radical concept.
The key here is to remember that the number is not the total. The number is just that.... a number. It can be high....it can be low...but it will never change who I am. I'll still be the me he fell for - just the packaging might change a little. For the better. :)
Let the record show that, he did tell me he thought I was beautiful, that even if he doesn't say it, doesn't mean he isn't thinking it. That's all a girl really wants to hear.
