So, a friend mentioned that today would be an excellent day for a ride. She went on to mention that she should probably get a boyfriend with a bike so she could ride along. Her alternative was...to learn to ride herself. Then it occurred to me that although there are a lot of things in life that are like a relationship between a man and woman.... this is a good example.
I have always loved motorcycles. When I was a child, I think it was my uncle that took me on my first ride(with dad's admonishment to be extra careful..). When it comes to motorcycles...you either love them..or fear them. I loved them. When I turned 18 my parents divorced and dad got a BEAUTIFUL Honda Goldwing. Some would call it a midlife crisis cycle....I called it going back to a love he had forgotten. I could tell how much he liked to go for rides, it was like a cleansing of the soul when he would come back from a ride. He would take my sister and I for rides on it. I loved it and dreamed of a day when I would ride by myself. I think my sister liked it, but I don't think as much as I did.
I forgot about my dream for awhile. Ok, it was a LONG while. It wasn't until my children were older and my husband(at the time) bought a Honda Nighthawk. He would take me for rides and the dream of a solo ride resurfaced. I mentioned it to him a few times, and he said he would teach me, but we never got around to it. The Nighthawk was sold and we divorced.
With my second husband I mentioned my dream again... he was in the "I hate and fear motorcycles" camp. As was the case for most things in that marriage, if he was against it..it didn't happen. It wasn't much of a relationship in that regard and that's why it didn't last. I don't consider it a failure, though. The failure was mine in not standing up for myself and my wants and dreams. I finally learned to do that and we divorced as well.
Then the dream became mine again. No longer was there anyone to tell me "no", or "maybe someday". My day was now. I took the beginners course, and though it took me two attempts, I passed it and I got my class M license. I bought a small bike off of eBay (more details are in previous posts). I took that first solo ride and it was everything I wanted and so much more. I did have to sell BLUE(my nickname for my first bike) back in November. It needed some mechanical work done and I just didn't want to invest the money when I need a bigger bike anyway.
I have been without my own ride since then, but if you've read me lately, you know that my boyfriend has a beautiful bike and I ride along with him whenever I get the chance. He is aware that I want my own bike.. "is it at least going to be an American made bike?" he says. "It will be whatever I am comfortable on, can ride safely, and that I can afford" I say. He's good with that.
This is where the 'relationship is like a motorcycle ride' thing comes in..It's very important that you learn how to ride solo in life. You should always know that you can handle things alone before you get into a relationship with someone else.
In a relationship both people in that relationship should realize that you don't HAVE to be together, you CHOOSE to be with that other person. There should be a mutual respect of each other's hopes, dreams and desires. As well, as each other's individuality. There will be times when you will ride solo and there will be times when you choose to ride together. The times when you are solo in no way diminish yourselves as a couple, it's just an expression of individuality and independence of self.
True, I don't have a bike of my own right now and he understands I will have someday, but he likes that I choose to ride with him. I appreciate that he chooses to take me with him and we both know that whether or not we are solo...we're still very much together.
