The 'other' mother....

I was going to save this for Mother's Day...but I find that I can't wait that long, and the subject is in dire need of recognition now. So here I am. I have often told anyone who will listen that I truly am of the belief that every person that comes into your life has a reason for being there. They are there to teach you, to learn from you, to give you something or to take something that they need from you. The reasons for their visit in your life is sometimes not clear immediately...sometimes it takes years and years.

Many moons ago, after my father and mother had divorced, after dad and my first stepmom had divorced....back when dad was single.. He met Linda. They dated for several years, she helped my sister plan her wedding. She actually became good friends with Sandy(my mom) through the course of the wedding planning. Things didnt work out and dad and Linda broke up. A few more years went by and they realized what each of them had lost and they got back together. Here's how I found out..

Dad-" Linda and I are back together.... I'm gonna ask her to move in with me...how do you feel about that?"

Me-"what are you asking me for? Kris and I love her, she's a great person, you're over 20 years old....geez dad...just do it!!"

and so he did. During the course of of their living together, she helped him move out of the big house and into the home they now share. She helped MAKE the home they share a HOME. She saw me and my sister through a few hardships, she cried with us when mom got sick again. In 2008 dad and Linda got married....to celebrate they took the whole family on their belated honeymoon to Cancun Mexico.

As I said before...the reasons that these 'special' people come into our lives are not often immediately apparent....but I know why Linda is here. All year long, throughout mom's bouts with chemo and illness, she's been there for me and Kris. While working a full time job, she found the time to design and make quilts for us both for Christmas presents. She has always treated my kids as if they were her own grandchildren and my sister and I as if we were of her flesh. The pendants that we were given at Thanksgiving were partly designed by her and when mom died...I don't know who cried more...me or Linda.

I know why she's here.... I think the higher power(whatever you choose to call it) knew that Kris and I weren't finished needing a mom yet and dad needed someone to keep him in line....so that's why she's here. She's way more than a stepmom..and I won't be calling her that anymore. She's my 'Other' mother....and I'm very thankful to have her and we all love her very much.

Moving Forward....

Ever wonder why your car's front window is huge and your rearview mirror isn't? Because what's ahead is way more important than what's already behind you.

Usually, around this time of year I get all sentimental and retrospective and set goals for the coming year and tell you what I plan on doing....well, in the interest of shaking things up, I think I'm going to tell you what I WON'T be doing in the coming year.

I WON'T be doing any skydiving. The theory being, if at first you don't succeed...maybe skydiving isn't your sport. Since I'm the kind of person that needs to LEARN things and it usually takes me a couple tries before I get it right, I don't think there's a huge learning curve on this sport....so I will be passing on that.

I WON'T be swimming with sharks. One word- BITEY.

I WON'T be eating liver. I try not to consume anything that looks like it would be appetizing to a zombie. Just a 'thing' of mine.

Not gonna be doing any backpacking through the Himalayas. I don't know if there really IS an abominable snowman..but I'm not gonna take a chance on it.

I promise NOT to miss mom on days that don't end in Y. In that same vein, I will try NOT to look at the clock every day at 2pm and expect a phone call.

I will NOT be living my life in fear of what MIGHT happen.

I will NOT pass up the chance to randomly dance in parking lots, irritate other people with my insane knowledge of silly trivia, act immature, kiss under a full moon, or take a motorcycle ride up the river road ON MY OWN MOTORCYCLE!! : )

In short, I'm gonna be looking forward...not backwards. There will be no dwelling on what was or could have been. There will be...what is..and what could be.

It's a whole new year, I had my fill of sorrow in 2010, there won't be anymore of that in 2011. NOT if I have anything to do with it.