Legacy

In June of this year, my ailing mom decided that she needed some money.... as she had quite a few gold necklaces, a diamond tennis bracelet, assorted rings...she contacted my dad. Dad had been in the wholesale jewelry business for awhile and she knew that he would take care of this task for her. Dad contacted mom, told her what he could give her for the gold...but the diamonds...they were basically useless. Whenever a jeweler buys your gold...he takes the gold...and strips it of any stones and just pays you for the gold. The stones he uses in other pieces and you really don't get anything for that. Anyway....mom knew she was terminal..and she and dad decided that he needed to do something with the stones. Something special. something for my sister, my daughter and me.



Dad wanted to make sure we were all here today for Thanksgiving dinner....and when it was over he had the whole family go into the living room...and he explained what had happened. He told us how mom knew he was going to have something made for us,out of the stones from her jewelry, but she died before the finished product was revealed.



He gave each of us a gold wrapped box, Caitlin..was gifted with two.



When we opened our boxes....we each were made a pendant....shaped like a flower on a gold chain.Dad and Linda (my amazingly loving step mom)had designed the pieces Each petal of the flower was a diamond, my sister and daughter each got an emerald petal since their birthdays were in May. Caitlin's pendant was smaller, so she also got two smaller diamonds as stud earrings.



Sandra K. Garrett Jones would have been 68 years old on November 30th. Thanks mom, for the birthday present. It's beautiful.

The 7th best year.....

This time of year always makes me think of the things that were and the things yet to be. I got to thinking...(yes...I know that's just so NOT me...but bear with me) this has been one of my all time BEST years. Let me give you the rundown...and maybe get you to thinking about YOUR best years.

First off...it was Christmas 1969, I was 5, and an only child(till May of 1970). I got a pretend kitchen(stove, fridge, oven) a Mrs. Beasley doll, and a white sports car pedal car. Hmmmmm, girly stuff... AND tomboy stuff do I detect a pattern here?

Autumn of 1980. I turned 16, had the worlds weirdest sweet 16 party(at a shooting tournament at Busch Wildlife in Missouri). Anyone else have a birthday cake with a TARGET design in the frosting?? no? just me? Yeah...that's kinda what I thought. I got my first REALLY good kiss. Now some time for Good news/bad news. Good news - I got my driver's license. Bad news- I also got a 1978 mustard yellow Ford courier pickup truck featuring a gunrack AND a camper shell as a first vehicle.

October 1982- This was a bittersweet year. I had a full time job. I was single, I only had a car payment, no boyfriend, no worries..life was good. This was also the year my parents divorced. The lesson here was that relationships are NOT just black and white. There's a lot of gray area and it just doesn't get easier as you get older. It gets more complicated.

May 1987- My daughter was born. I was scared, excited, scared, thrilled...did I mention scared? Ultimately I figured out that she wasn't going to KNOW that I was a novice at this...so I needed to relax. Things went way better after that. Bachelor #1(my ex, her dad) was an over the road truck driver, so I was pretty much a single mom for the first 4 years of her life. We became the "2 Musketeers". My favorite phrase was.." ok Catie...what do you wanna do tonite??"

August 1993- My son was born. By this time I had sort of figured out the whole 'mom' thing, but one thing I hadn't ever dealt with? COLIC. God love him...my little angel was a perfect baby all day. He was smiling, cooing, and sweet...then 5pm hit and he'd become the demon seed. I would not have been more surprised if he spit pea soup all over me and his head spun round on his shoulders. We survived it. He got over the colic and all was well. I did kinda miss the 3am classical music and rocking him ..and rocking him...and rocking him till he would sleep.

June 2008- Taking back my life. Finding myself again. You never really know how lost you are, till you go trying to figure yourself out. I was so lost, I had no friends, my family barely knew me, my children had been alienated from me. Things were not good. Then I told bachelor #2 that it was over. Finally. I went to Cancun, Mexico with my family and without him and realized that the life I had lived up until that point was NOT all that it could be. When I got home, I was free, free of him and free of the old ideas.

November 2010- Another bittersweet year..All the things I've been working on for the past few years have come to fruition. I've got a whole circle of new friends, had some great relationships, reconnected with people from my past that have been treasures beyond measure. I learned that no matter what life throws at me, I can handle it. Usually with a laugh. Sometimes with some tears.

This year I lost my mom. It was, by far the toughest thing I've ever had to deal with in my life, ever. Being there with her, when she needed me and my sister the most, is an experience I won't ever forget. I could wish that I didn't have to go through it, but that would be selfish. Her journey was over, and she's finally at peace and that's the natural order of things. Just to let you know, it's NOT like they show you on television and in movies. To see someone you love die is scary, and not pretty. You feel lost and out of control and the sounds and the sight of the experience will probably be with me for a long, long time.

No matter how much time you think you have... it's never enough. You HAVE to live each minute, not just exist...but LIVE. This was the year that I found out that the word 'family' means so much more than the people you were born to. It means so much more than where you come from. It's where you are going and who you choose to take along for the ride.

I'm so thankful for all these lessons...and so grateful for them. I can't wait to see what happens next.

Walking in Memphis....

I've recently become a fan of....the road trip.

Yes, I know that usually the appeal of 'the road trip' wanes as a person grows older. Well, as we've all discovered already, I'm just NOT your normal chick over 40.

I wasted(ok...that's a harsh word, I didn't really 'waste' anything) my youth, well the years between 19 and 29 years old anyway, on such frivolous pursuits as being a newlywed, having children and then raising them. I missed out on the college experience entirely and also on the chance to just go out into the wild blue yonder of the open road for fun and frolic with a group of friends or just one person. No agenda at all other than to find something cool, go to a sporting event, or hear a band I really liked.

The road trips of the past included a healthy dose of guilt and an overdose of relatives...usually mixed in with a holiday or birthday of some sort. Throw in a few surly teenagers or toddlers..and there you have it. Never a good recipe for 'fun and or frolic'.

Over the past month or so I've been to both a college football game and a rock concert. GO ME!! : ) Both these events involved road trips...and I learned a few things.

If your host and hostess want to dress up their vehicle with flags, magnetic signs and memorabilia for their chosen college team.....it usually makes for a REALLY fun ride. NEVER, ever dress in the opposing teams colors. I asked what the appropriate colors were before the game. Kentucky wildcats blue= BAD, Gamecock garnet = Good.
College football fans are rabid. It's not just life and death...its WAY more important and WAY more fun. *grins*

When 'walking in memphis' wear comfortable shoes, cause you're gonna be in them for awhile. I've been to concerts before...but usually they involved seats. I admit it, I was a novice. This time, however, I was a REAL concertgoer. I stood outside and explored the street in front of the venue with my partner in crime, T. We observed the local wildlife..and made notes of the local uniform. Note to self- Hoodies and skinny jeans are NOT for everyone and seriously...what is the appeal of the 'ear gauge'? Our tickets were checked by a guy that had to have been a giant in a former life and was a head taller than my date, which is saying something cause..he's impressive. We were ushered inside and came face to face with the Cookie Monster's younger sister. Black and pink hair, and an outfit by Cuisanart. one of the notable quotes of the nite " huh...and she looked in the mirror before leaving the house and thought....'damn..I look good'"

We made it down front and were fourth row from the front....where we stayed for the next 5 hours. Through four different bands, one of which had a song named "shut the hell up" we all got to sing the chorus...and we meant it. The concensus of the crowd was...."please...shut the hell up!" we saw: The Few-very good...the lead singer had a voice very much like Amy Lee of Evanescence and their color coordinated black and neon green outfits were just beyond cute. Not to mention their "come on and lets put on a show" attitude was infectious. Crushing Juliet- yet another quote of the nite "dang...the bassist is pretty!!" and he was. There was NO shortage of guyliner or hair product in that band. They were pretty good too, but we couldnt hear the lead singer. It was either fate, or smart soundboarding. We'll never know.
Next up, Spyder Rockets..Yeah. The name was a harbinger of the terror that was to follow. Their best song: "shut the hell up" kinda says it all, doesnt it?

and the last band to perform before OUR band played was SORE EYES. They were actually pretty good...except the lead singer was kinda a whiny little guy who griped about how no one would come out to support Memphis music...(uh...we were there...in memphis...at a concert..what do ya call that?). He also welcomed his friends from all over and encouraged them to Mosh and crowd surf. uh...WHAT? These Yahoos rushed the stage and attempted to crowd surf over a group of 18-25 year olds(and me and T) None of us were having it. We didnt participate. There's nothing more disappointing than a denied crowd surfer. Nor is there anything more angry.

Next they started trying to get us all to MOSH. They started slamming against us nearly knocking a few of the more slight down, and to be honest...I got a little scared. A young couple that was standing next to us..and who had been hanging out with us outside the venue got roughed up a little...and into a little altercation. They ended up being thrown out along with the Yahoos who started the whole thing. Now that I have time to reflect on the whole thing...I remembered something. When The whole thing got started I got knocked around a little too, until I felt two big strong arms around me and a solid presence at my back. It was nice to have someone around who literally..."had my back". It was a new experience for me and one I kinda liked.

Finally....OUR band started. YAY! Framing Hanley was really good. They sounded just as good as they do on YOUTUBE. I wish they would have done T's favorite song. or mine. BUT they were still GREAT. Another little Yahoo tried to muscle his way past T to get closer to the front...it was kinda funny. Have you ever seen someone picked up by their hoodie and physically set down a foot back from their chosen destination? TRULY entertaining. The look on the kid's face was memorable.(ANOTHER note to self- NEVER get between T and his music. NEVER).

We bought a couple Cd's on the way out, visited with the kids from THE FEW.. got some makeup and hair tips from the guys in CRUSHING JULIET, walked right past all the SPYDERROCKETS, and glared at SORE EYES. All in all...the whole thing was quite an adventure.

You know, the thing I'm learning is, life isnt so much about the goal...as it is all the side trips along the way and the people you take with you. Take the wrong people..and its a whole different trip.