The 7th best year.....

This time of year always makes me think of the things that were and the things yet to be. I got to thinking...(yes...I know that's just so NOT me...but bear with me) this has been one of my all time BEST years. Let me give you the rundown...and maybe get you to thinking about YOUR best years.

First off...it was Christmas 1969, I was 5, and an only child(till May of 1970). I got a pretend kitchen(stove, fridge, oven) a Mrs. Beasley doll, and a white sports car pedal car. Hmmmmm, girly stuff... AND tomboy stuff do I detect a pattern here?

Autumn of 1980. I turned 16, had the worlds weirdest sweet 16 party(at a shooting tournament at Busch Wildlife in Missouri). Anyone else have a birthday cake with a TARGET design in the frosting?? no? just me? Yeah...that's kinda what I thought. I got my first REALLY good kiss. Now some time for Good news/bad news. Good news - I got my driver's license. Bad news- I also got a 1978 mustard yellow Ford courier pickup truck featuring a gunrack AND a camper shell as a first vehicle.

October 1982- This was a bittersweet year. I had a full time job. I was single, I only had a car payment, no boyfriend, no worries..life was good. This was also the year my parents divorced. The lesson here was that relationships are NOT just black and white. There's a lot of gray area and it just doesn't get easier as you get older. It gets more complicated.

May 1987- My daughter was born. I was scared, excited, scared, thrilled...did I mention scared? Ultimately I figured out that she wasn't going to KNOW that I was a novice at this...so I needed to relax. Things went way better after that. Bachelor #1(my ex, her dad) was an over the road truck driver, so I was pretty much a single mom for the first 4 years of her life. We became the "2 Musketeers". My favorite phrase was.." ok Catie...what do you wanna do tonite??"

August 1993- My son was born. By this time I had sort of figured out the whole 'mom' thing, but one thing I hadn't ever dealt with? COLIC. God love him...my little angel was a perfect baby all day. He was smiling, cooing, and sweet...then 5pm hit and he'd become the demon seed. I would not have been more surprised if he spit pea soup all over me and his head spun round on his shoulders. We survived it. He got over the colic and all was well. I did kinda miss the 3am classical music and rocking him ..and rocking him...and rocking him till he would sleep.

June 2008- Taking back my life. Finding myself again. You never really know how lost you are, till you go trying to figure yourself out. I was so lost, I had no friends, my family barely knew me, my children had been alienated from me. Things were not good. Then I told bachelor #2 that it was over. Finally. I went to Cancun, Mexico with my family and without him and realized that the life I had lived up until that point was NOT all that it could be. When I got home, I was free, free of him and free of the old ideas.

November 2010- Another bittersweet year..All the things I've been working on for the past few years have come to fruition. I've got a whole circle of new friends, had some great relationships, reconnected with people from my past that have been treasures beyond measure. I learned that no matter what life throws at me, I can handle it. Usually with a laugh. Sometimes with some tears.

This year I lost my mom. It was, by far the toughest thing I've ever had to deal with in my life, ever. Being there with her, when she needed me and my sister the most, is an experience I won't ever forget. I could wish that I didn't have to go through it, but that would be selfish. Her journey was over, and she's finally at peace and that's the natural order of things. Just to let you know, it's NOT like they show you on television and in movies. To see someone you love die is scary, and not pretty. You feel lost and out of control and the sounds and the sight of the experience will probably be with me for a long, long time.

No matter how much time you think you have... it's never enough. You HAVE to live each minute, not just exist...but LIVE. This was the year that I found out that the word 'family' means so much more than the people you were born to. It means so much more than where you come from. It's where you are going and who you choose to take along for the ride.

I'm so thankful for all these lessons...and so grateful for them. I can't wait to see what happens next.